Reading passage
Parents have argued about the best way to raise children for centuries, but the scientific study of parenting is surprisingly young. In the 1960s the American psychologist Diana Baumrind observed families with preschool children and identified three broad styles of parenting. She called them authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Later researchers added a fourth category, known as neglectful or uninvolved parenting. Although few real parents fit perfectly into a single box, Baumrind's framework still shapes much of the advice that doctors, teachers and popular books offer to families today.
Authoritarian parents believe in strict rules and immediate obedience. They often use phrases such as 'because I said so' and they rarely explain the reasons behind their decisions. Punishment, rather than discussion, is the usual response to bad behaviour. Households of this kind are often tidy and punctual, yet the atmosphere inside them can be tense. Children raised in this way tend to be polite and well organised, but studies suggest they may also become anxious, lack self-confidence, or rebel strongly during adolescence when parental control weakens.
Permissive parents sit at the opposite extreme. They are warm and loving but set very few limits, allow their children to choose bedtimes and meals, and avoid confrontation at almost any cost. Baumrind found that children of permissive parents often struggle with self-control. Because they have rarely been told no, they may find it difficult to accept rules at school or to share with other children, and some perform badly in classrooms where discipline is expected.
The third style, authoritative parenting, combines high expectations with emotional warmth. These parents set clear rules, but they explain them, listen to objections and adjust them as children grow older. Misbehaviour is treated as a chance to teach rather than simply to punish. Baumrind reported that children raised this way were the most cheerful, the most cooperative and the most successful at school, and most later studies in Western countries have supported her conclusion.
A large study that followed more than five thousand American families for a decade confirmed many of these findings. Children whose parents combined firm limits with affection scored higher on reading tests and showed fewer behaviour problems at age eleven than children of either strict or relaxed parents. However, the researchers warned that parenting style explains only part of the picture. Poverty, school quality and the child's own temperament all matter, and a warm relationship can protect children even when parents are far from perfect.
Culture also changes the meaning of each style. In some East Asian families, for example, strict control is traditional and is understood by children as a sign of love and duty rather than hostility. Studies in China and Korea have found that firm parenting does less harm there than the same behaviour would cause in the United States, where children expect more freedom. This means that psychologists should be careful before calling one approach best for every society in the world.
Modern life adds fresh complications. In many households both parents now work full time, so evenings are short and tempers are tired. Smartphones and tablets compete for children's attention, and online forums bombard parents with contradictory advice from strangers who claim to be experts. Grandparents, friends and television programmes all add their own opinions, so mothers and fathers can feel that everyone is judging them. A recent fashion called gentle parenting urges adults to negotiate calmly with children about everything, but critics reply that endless negotiation is exhausting and leaves some children without any clear boundaries at all.
Most experts therefore recommend a simple balance. Rules should be few, clear and consistent, and they should be enforced with warmth instead of anger. Children need to know that someone is in charge, but they also need to feel heard. As one researcher put it, the best parents are like gardeners: they provide structure, nourishment and patience, and then allow the child to grow in his or her own direction.